A singer in the woods
by elag
Summary: While Elizabeth Bennet is walking through the grounds of Rosings, she overhears a man singing in the woods. This unexpected encounter leads to a different conversation between Elizabeth and Darcy. The full story was left up for readers to enjoy for a year. Now, only the first six chapters are available here. Full story is available on Kobo and Amazon Kindle. Author: Margaret Gale.
1. Chapter 1

Elizabeth caught a low noise: someone nearby was singing. She could hear the tone and snatches of the tune, but not the words, as she wandered through the grove. Not wanting to disturb whoever it was who had chosen this out-of-the-way corner of the estate to exercise their lungs, she walked carefully, making as little sound as she could. With luck, she would pass them by without being noticed.

As she got closer, she recognised the voice. It was not one she had ever expected to hear raised in song! Indeed, she had thought the gentleman too proud and conscious to be caught in such an activity. But then, she had wandered a long way from the usual paths. Perhaps Mr Darcy had deliberately sought such a lonely spot in order to preserve his reputation from the indignity of being known to sing.

She had to admit he had a nice voice. It was a mellow baritone, and carried the tune well. She was close enough now to recognise the air, and she felt a grudging respect for his ability to deliver it so well without the benefit of accompaniment. She was even more surprised to realise that the austere Mr Darcy was singing a sentimental love song, with such apparent feeling in his tone as to give rise to the suspicion that the gentleman was indeed suffering those very pangs the song spoke of.

Elizabeth considered retreating quietly the way she had come, but it was now only a few yards more before she could turn onto the path that led back towards the parsonage. Who knew how long Mr Darcy's performance would last? She could hardly wait the whole morning for him to depart before she made her way home. No, if she took care to place her feet quietly, she should be able to escape his notice. He was shielded from the path she walked by a thin screen of trees, through which she could see enough to know that he faced away from her route.

She trod on an edging of the turf that the crackle of the pebbly gravel might not betray her presence. He was standing in a small clearing to one side of the path at a yard or two distant from where she had to pass. His song continued, strangely compelling in its mournful intensity, and he seemed absorbed by the view in front of him. "I shall get by him very well," she meditated.

As Elizabeth crossed his shadow Darcy stopped singing. Without turning he asked in a gentle voice, "Are you here, then? Or did my song summon your likeness to my side?"

Elizabeth knew not how to reply to such a question. Whoever it was he had been thinking of as he sang, he would be sorely disappointed to find himself discovered by Miss Elizabeth Bennet, that woman he had declared "tolerable", who he only ever looked on to find fault. She took another silent step, meaning to continue on her way before he turned, but was again arrested by the sorrow in his voice as he said, "And will you leave me without a word, beloved spirit? Gentle, soft dream, you will fly, too, as your sisters have all fled before you: but kiss me before you go – embrace me Elizabeth."

She had already been quite amazed at this outburst, but on hearing him speak her name (although it must be some _other_ Elizabeth he imagined), she let out an involuntary gasp. The sound seemed to break him from an enchantment, and he turned so fast he staggered before regaining his balance.

"Miss Elizabeth!" he cried, in shock.

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	2. Chapter 2

"Miss Elizabeth!" he cried, in shock.

"Mr Darcy," she replied, offering a curtsey.

Both blushed and turned their eyes away in embarrassment, but _his_ eyes would not obey such a stricture for long. They insisted on returning to the object of his affection. She really _was_ there, the most wonderful woman he had ever met! But his mind quickly reeled from delight to mortification as he realised that Elizabeth Bennet must have heard him singing, and must have heard the comments which followed!

Elizabeth gathered her courage to break the silence. "I had not expected to find anyone along this path, sir," she said, hoping to let him know that she had not deliberately sought him out.

"Nor I," he answered. "You must know I thought myself quite alone. I would not have embarrassed you for the world."

"It is nothing, sir. I dare say I will survive the experience. I apologise for intruding on your solitude. Please excuse me." She turned to leave, but then turned again, her eyebrow quirked in challenge: "But I must ask, sir, whether your Elizabeth knows of your devotion?"

"Only _you_ can answer that question, Miss Elizabeth," he said, his look earnest and intent.

Elizabeth gasped again. Could he possibly mean what he implied? That it was _she_ who he had been speaking of? It was not so much the _impropriety_ of his words but the improbability of them having been aimed at _her_ that prompted her to say, "But you do not even _like_ me!"

"Not like you? Not _like_ you? Whatever could make you think so?" he asked in amazement.

"Mr Darcy, forgive me for saying so, but you have made no secret of your disdain. From the very beginning – from the first moment, I may almost say – of my acquaintance with you, your manners were such as to impress upon me your dislike of my person, my conversation, my family and my neighbourhood. You must forgive me if I took you at your word when you declared me 'not handsome enough to tempt you'!"

His eyes, which had gradually widened during this recital, closed in mortification at her final parry. He had been ready to decry her lack of discernment, but her reminder of words he should never have uttered and had long since regretted brought home that his conduct had been lacking. How could she have perceived his admiration when he had struggled so hard to disguise it? If she thought he disliked her, he could not blame her. He had laid the foundation himself! Was it possible to be more ashamed? He rallied to answer her charges.

"You have said enough, madam. It only remains for me to apologise for my foolishness and attempt to explain the truth of the matter, if you will be merciful enough to hear me, despite my offences."

This was not what Elizabeth had expected from the proud Mr Darcy, but then, everything that had happened since she first heard the strains of his singing defied her expectations. She felt all the awkwardness of his situation, and could see no harm in allowing his apology. To tell the truth, she was all curiosity to find out what explanation he might offer for his conduct.

"I will hear you, sir," she said quietly, and moved to sit on the low branch of a nearby tree.

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	3. Chapter 3

"I will hear you, sir," she said quietly, and moved to sit on the low branch of a nearby tree.

The gentleman paced in front of her for some moments, gathering his thoughts. Then he began:

"First, I most sincerely and unreservedly apologise for my words on the evening of the Meryton assembly. I could explain why I was in a foul mood that evening, determined to be miserable, but nothing could excuse my rudeness. I should not have said such a thing about any young lady even were it true. To injure an innocent bystander because of my own foul humour is insupportable. But I must also tell you that, even at the time I said it, I _never_ thought those words were true. You are among the handsomest women of my acquaintance, and I was then, and still am, most sorely tempted by your beauty."

"But ..." Elizabeth made to interrupt, but Darcy rushed on: "Please, let me continue. I have much to say, and if you interrupt, I may lose my courage. I beg of you to listen to all I have to say before you speak. I promise to listen to your reply when I am done."

Elizabeth nodded her agreement, and waited to hear what this surprisingly eloquent Mr Darcy would say next.

"Miss Elizabeth, I have _never_ disliked you. On the contrary, the more time I spent in your company, the more I became enchanted by your wit and vivacity, your kindness, your strength of character in standing up to the impertinence of others, and the grace with which you avoided causing harm even where it might be merited. I enjoyed our battles of wit, delighted in your intelligence and willingness to challenge my ideas, and always, always, admired your person to distraction.

"You are right to upbraid me for failing to reveal my affections. I resisted my growing attraction to you, Miss Elizabeth. If I hid it from you, I tried valiantly to hide it from myself, too. I was raised to be proud of my station in life, and to look meanly on those less fortunate than myself. I now understand the foolishness of such an attitude, and strive to overcome it, but I know old habits of superiority often shape the way I present myself in unfamiliar company. But at the same time, my initial reluctance to engage openly with others has been exacerbated by my experience of society since my father's passing.

"I have spent my whole adult life as the target of matchmakers and fortune hunters. I came into my inheritance at a young age and still a bachelor. Usually when marrying even the first-born son to a family of fortune there is the risk that the current head of the family might live for many years yet, or that the heir might die before inheriting. With me there was no uncertainty. Marrying _me_ would secure immediate status as Mistress of Pemberley, and access to the full Darcy fortune. As a result, I was seen as a prize catch, and I have barely been able to step into a ballroom or attend a dinner party without being accosted by single young ladies and their even more hopeful parents , none of whom have cared a jot for my character, but only for my purse.

"I do not tell you this to brag, but to explain why I have developed a deep scepticism of professions of affection, and an aversion to placing myself into social situations where I might be hunted or even compromised. When Bingley and I arrived at the assembly at Meryton, it was immediately apparent that word of our fortunes and that we were bachelors had already swept the neighbourhood. We could not but hear whispers of "ten thousand pounds" and "what a wonderful thing for our girls". I wanted to be anywhere else, but my duty to my friend Bingley meant I must attend. It did not mean I must enjoy the experience.

"I was already in a foul mood, for reasons unrelated to Hertfordshire, and I selfishly allowed my own ill temper to dictate my impressions of the neighbourhood. By the time Bingley pressed me to dance, I would have spurned Aphrodite had she been there! You were the accidental victim of my spleen, and for that I most humbly apologise." Here he paused his pacing to look once more with that strange intensity into her eyes, before continuing.

Elizabeth, although she had promised silence, could not help but say, "I _do_ accept your apology, Mr Darcy, but I still find it hard to believe you developed a _tendre_ for me when my behaviour to _you_ was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. How do you account for it, sir?"

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	4. Chapter 4

Elizabeth, although she had promised silence, could not help but say, "I _do_ accept your apology, Mr Darcy, but I still find it hard to believe you developed a _tendre_ for me when my behaviour to _you_ was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. How do you account for it, sir?"

"I realised before the evening was out that you were a beautiful woman, with the most engaging eyes I had ever seen, but I was wary of mere physical attraction. What if you were a dullard, or a shrew? What if you were mercenary or selfish or mean? I cautioned myself to show no interest, so as not to raise expectations. Having overheard your mother already speculating on the prospects of your elder sister winning Bingley's hand, I knew that the slightest indication of my admiration for you would immediately lead to similar machinations toward me. I would not cause such rumours about either of us when I knew so little of you.

"When you came to care for your sister at Netherfield, I learned that you were indeed a gentlewoman of the highest calibre, but at the same time I learned more of your family, and I worried that my own family would be disappointed should I align myself with someone with close connections to trade and with no dowry to speak of. All those years of being hunted had inflated my pride – I saw myself as a great catch, and thought all the benefit of a match would be on your side.

"And yet I could not help myself. Whenever we were in company I found myself transfixed by your beauty, charm and intelligence. I was a lost cause, but still I told myself I should conceal my admiration until I was certain of my course. I had resolved to offer for your hand the night of the ball at Netherfield. But when we danced, your mention of that reprobate Wickham angered and confused me. I could not understand how he had managed to win the affections of the woman I loved.

"For the first time, I began to suspect that you might not hold me in high regard. That gave me the strength to leave, and I joined Bingley on his trip to town the next morning. I thought that once I had left you behind, I would be able to forget you – to conquer this strange passion that had seized my heart.

"What a fool I was. I could no more forget you than I could stop my heart from beating. I longed to rush back to your side and beg you to marry me. I even considered doing so in front of your mother, for I was sure she would give you little choice but to agree. But I knew you would never be happy to have your choice taken away from you, and I could not bear the thought of making you unhappy. So I stayed away.

"Then I came to Kent only to find you here at the very doorstep of my aunt's estate. I have suffered such agonies, thinking that you were indifferent to me and not knowing how to change your opinion. I knew Wickham must have told you enough lies about me to make you doubt me, and every time I was in your presence I found myself too tongue-tied to speak more than the most inane platitudes.

"But in all that time it never occurred to me that you might not have discerned my interest, or that you thought my silence arose from dislike! On the contrary, it is my great affection for you that leaves me without words.

"I could see that my presence made you uneasy, and again and again I would resolve to spare you my attentions, but I was always drawn back to the bittersweet joy of spending time in your presence, even if I could not speak what was in my heart. Whenever my emotions became more than I could control, I would come to this place and tell you of my love. Safe from all ears, I could be as eloquent here as I am tongue-tied in your company. I was so used to imagining you here that when I heard you passing, it was as though my imaginings had borne life. What I said was an unforgivable breach of propriety. I beg you to understand I truly thought myself speaking to a phantom.

"That is the full truth, Miss Elizabeth. I make no demands on you. If you cannot forgive my trespasses, I will quite understand. Nor are you under any obligation to share my affections. I offer them freely and with no expectation of return. Indeed, you may treat this entire episode as some strange delusion, if you prefer. If it is your wish, I will leave for town in the morning, and you need never see me again. But I could not bear to think of you somewhere in the world, thinking that I do not like you: nothing could be further from the truth."

Having finished his narrative, he stood nervously in front of her, waiting for her answer. Elizabeth took some minutes to consider his words. Several times she made to speak, only to catch herself before a word had crossed her lips and fall back into silence. Eventually, she rose and gestured to the branch on which she had been resting.

"Take a seat, Mr Darcy. I have listened patiently to your surprising declarations, and now I ask that you hear me out in similar manner."

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	5. Chapter 5

"Take a seat, Mr Darcy. I have listened patiently to your surprising declarations, and now I ask that you hear me out in similar manner."

As if to emphasise her point, she began to pace, much as the gentleman had done. Darcy nervously perched on the branch and watched her perambulation. For months he had longed to tell her how he felt, but he had never been brave enough to bare his heart so totally to the lady. Perhaps he was still influenced by being in this place, where he was used to addressing her openly, at least in his imagination, but once he had begun speaking, he had not been able to stop until his heart was completely exposed for her judgement.

She began: "You puzzle me exceedingly, Mr Darcy. From our first meeting, I have struggled to make out your character. You did much in those first few days to cement my first impressions – that you are haughty, prideful and disdainful of the feelings of others." She saw him flinch, and softened her tone a little, but was determined to be honest. "Your conduct toward myself, my family and neighbours, was at best cold and at worst positively rude.

"When I had the opportunity at Netherfield to observe you at ease among familiar company, I noticed some hints of why such a genial man as Mr Bingley would choose you for a friend. You showed yourself to be a responsible master, a caring brother and an attentive guest. Even Miss Bingley's clearly unwelcome attentions did not drive you to outright rudeness. I enjoyed our verbal sparring, although I thought you more irritated than entertained by me. I appreciated your real concern for my sister's health – such a clear contrast to the confected concern shown by Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst. I began to suspect that perhaps you were not so very bad after all," and she laughed softly to take the edge off this still rather damning assessment.

"Then I heard the tales of Mr Wickham. He said things of you that caused me great distress. If you were as bad as he painted you, then I feared for my sister's future felicity if she were to attach herself to a man so strongly under your influence as Mr Bingley seemed to be. Yet his tales were so extravagant – they painted you so cruel that I could not reconcile his version of you with the one I had begun to know. At first, I was simply shocked, but then I wondered what defence you might offer to his attacks on your character. I resolved to ask you at the ball.

"I see now that challenging you about Mr Wickham on the dance floor was not a good plan. If one cannot talk of books in a ballroom, how much less can one speak of old grudges and the grant of livings? If, as you say, your mind was bent on making a declaration that night, I can only imagine how much it must have shocked you to be confronted instead with my questions about your old adversary. When you rebuffed me, answered with vague generalities, and then departed the neighbourhood the next morning, I foolishly assumed you had no satisfactory answer to give. It did not occur to me that your reaction masked an injured heart, since I had no notion your heart was in any way engaged.

"After you left, tales which Mr Wickham had told _me_ in the strictest confidence, saying he would never defame you out of fondness for the memory of your father, were quickly known all over the neighbourhood. I wondered at this inconsistency in his stance, and that it should only be after you were no longer present to defend yourself that the worst rumours were spread about. Yet your own conduct had led me to think that, whatever the truth of Mr Wickham's claims, you were an unpleasant sort of man, and small loss to the neighbourhood. It was _Mr_ _Bingley_ whose return we eagerly awaited, and whose desertion my dear Jane still suffers from most acutely.

"Now you tell me that all along, you harboured a growing affection for me. It is hard to credit, but I have the evidence of my own ears _before_ you realised I was here, and there is an air of truth in all you have told me since. I do not pretend to return your affection. Indeed, until finding you here at Rosings this last fortnight, I have scarce thought of you at _all_ since you left Netherfield."

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	6. Chapter 6

"Now you tell me that all along, you harboured a growing affection for me. It is hard to credit, but I have the evidence of my own ears before you realised I was here, and there is an air of truth in all you have told me since. I do not pretend to return your affection. Indeed, until finding you here at Rosings this last fortnight, I have scarce thought of you at all since you left Netherfield." Darcy looked half shocked, half pained at learning of her indifference. She spoke more softly:

"I see that the struggle with your affection for me has caused you pain, and for that I am sorry. It was most unconsciously done. My manners must have been in fault for you to think me expecting your addresses at the Netherfield ball, but not intentionally, I assure you. I never meant to deceive you, but my spirits might often lead me wrong. To meet with challenge and censure instead of affection - how you must have hated me after _that_ evening!"

"Hate you!" He half rose in protest. "I was angry perhaps at first, but my anger soon began to take a proper direction. I realised that you could not think so poorly of me had I been less circumspect in allowing you to know me. I find myself incapable of hating you, Miss Elizabeth."

"Peace, sir. You must hear me out. I have not yet finished."

Darcy subsided back onto the branch, and nodded his readiness for her to continue. It was not pleasant to hear her recitation of why she disliked him, but his sense of justice required it of him.

"After this inauspicious start, I did not expect to meet you again at Rosings, but here you are, and I have discovered yet another side to the Mr Darcy I thought I knew. You have repaired much of the damage caused by your earlier conduct. How poorly it speaks for _my_ judgement that I expected you to be completely at home in the gaudy ostentation of Lady Catherine's home. Instead, I have watched you reveal a distaste for finery, a sensitivity to the feelings of those around you, and even embarrassment at the worst manners of your aunt. You behaved with civility to my friend Mrs Collins, apologised to me for your conduct in Hertfordshire, and managed several pleasant conversations when we have met about the grounds.

"I had only just resolved to abandon all my previous sketches of your character and start again with a clean slate, when I discovered that amongst your other talents, you have a fine singing voice! I can safely say that I no longer dislike you, sir, although I would appreciate hearing your account of the things said against you by Mr Wickham in order to put my mind at rest. Until this week, I would have said that I was indifferent to you, since you were unlikely to impinge on my life in any way, and little was to be gained by further consideration of your character.

"Now, I find I am not so indifferent as I had supposed. I quite _like_ this more open Mr Darcy who sings to phantoms and speaks honestly and eloquently with a young lady (even though she has caused him nothing but pain). If you wish it, I would not be averse to continuing our acquaintance in this quiet place. I walk often in the early morning, and could easily find my feet wandering in this direction. If you also happened upon this path at the same time, who could say it was not accidental? I have many questions for you, sir, and it would do you no harm to get to know the _real_ me rather than an imagined likeness."

Watching Darcy's eyes widen in shock at her words, Elizabeth could not resist adding, with an impish grin, "I do not suggest this out of any lack of proper manners, but only because it would give us the opportunity to put our past misconceptions aside and begin our acquaintance anew, free from the impertinent interference of _your_ aunt or _my_ cousin."

Elizabeth could hardly believe her own boldness in proposing such a scheme, but there had been such a depth of misunderstanding between the two of them that she could not pass up the chance to start afresh.

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